


How not to dump a guy

by Naiyah28



Category: Starkid, The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals - Team StarKid
Genre: Gen, also fuck Sam the asshat, help this girl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2019-07-22
Packaged: 2020-07-10 10:36:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19904350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Naiyah28/pseuds/Naiyah28
Summary: Zoey is in deep shit when a plan to break up with a guys ends up going stranger then expected





	How not to dump a guy

Always dress up when dumping a man. That was the advice Zoey had seen on a weird Buzzfeed article once and now reused on everyone she’d ever met. Now it was her first time using it. 

In her defence this was also her first time in an actual longterm ‘relationship’ if it could even be called that. A relationship based on Zoey trying to let her friend not get caught dealing drugs to minors by distracting a cop. It was just her luck that it worked too well and she ended up waking up to that same cop the next morning. 

Zoey knew that she should have ended it earlier but she was a sucker for a uniform. Even if that uniform was worn by an asshole who most definitely had a wife based on the phone calls she heard early in the morning. 

So there she sat. In good old starlight theatre with an expensive dress and heels on only to be told that she looked sexy and other bullshit. Little did Sam now that he’d be getting nothing from her. 

Well except for a ticket to Mamma Mia, which came from rule two of how to break up with someone: give them the best damn night of there night and then crush there heart.

Zoey wasn’t even sure why she cared. If it was the other way round Sam would probably send her a shitty text or just block her or something but she felt inclined to do this the right way. She owed him that at least, didn’t she?

“Zoe” Zoey turned round at the stupid nickname that Sam had given her being screamed at her. He stood on the opposite side of the theater as if they hadn’t come here together and sat down in there seats. In his hand he held a program and a most likely alcoholic drink. There went rule 4, keep the dumpee sober. 

She inhaled and exhaled, trying to keep her annoyance under control but it writhed in her like a snake. There he was ruining her perfect night to completely break his heart by getting a fucking drink for a production of mamma Mia. The rational side of her knew it was an overreaction but that didn’t stop her feeling pissed. 

For a second she wished that Sam would just disappear and leave her to her orderly an unfucked up life.

And then it happened.

The roof collapsed right above Sam’s head, and then a meteor came down as well. And then he was gone. Shrapnel rained down in the rest of them. Zoey stood up quickly, covering her head in a desperate attempt to not get a concussion. The rocks sliced into her arms as she ran until she tripped. Her face crashed into the seats below just as a large fragment of the ceiling dropped down.

In that moment she froze and the metal from what must have been supporting the ceiling forced her leg even closer to the floor. She screamed out in agony as she tried to pull herself out. 

“Someone... help” she cried out. “Please.”

Something hit the floor near her, causing Zoey to yelp in surprise. “Quickly.... someone.”

Then a voice near her said in a calm tone “Wait there babe... I’m coming.” Sam’s shoes appeared in front of her. 

“Get it off me...please Sam” she pleaded. She didn’t care how he had survived, she was just thankful that he was there to get her out. 

She felt the pressure lift off her leg and hastily pulled herself across the carpeted floor to what she could only think off of safety. On shaky legs she rose to her feet, ignoring the pain that rose in her ankle as she did so. They needed to get out of there fast. 

“I think I deserve a kiss for that, wouldn’t you agree.”

Zoey turned to him, wincing with her bad ankle that she was trying to ignore. “Are you actually crazy? The roof literally just crushed me and your concerned about kissing. You’re literally mental.” 

“I’m not mental. I’m happy.” An unfamiliar smile crossed Sam’s face, full of malice and an uncomfortable amount of joy for the chaos that was raining down around them. 

Everything about him seemed off, his hair was matted to his hair with something blue that was now trickling down his face. As Zoey backed up the stairs slowly she started to see what was wrong. The top of Sam’s skull had been ripped off. His brain was exposed to the air around them, also a shade of blue. 

Zoey started to limp quicker. 

“Where are you going babe? You can finally be happy. Just one kiss and all your worries will disappear”

“You go disappear” Zoey cringed at the childish response but kept moving none the less, she had to get out. She had to run. She tried to get to a door but it was blocked off by another piece of the ceiling. She swore and the tried to go back in the opposite direction but of course there stood the king of asshats himself, eyes to wide to be natural as he started to advance on her. 

“Wise men say,   
Only fools rush in”

She stared at him confused. “What the actual fuck   
?” Sam’s voice was normally absolutely trash but here he was singing in an inhumanly beautiful way. Of course in a minor key as well, just in case she hadn’t picked up the fact that something wasn’t right.

“But I can’t help,  
Falling in love with you” 

He took a step forward as he started the verse but then stopped when Zoey grabbed a jagged stone from the floor and threw it with a burning furosity at Sam, slicing him slightly across his cheek. Blue blood seeped out. 

“Should I stay,   
Would it be a sin   
If I can’t help   
Falling in love with you”

She threw more rocks at him, most missed but there was satisfaction for each one that did, blue blood or not. He still moved forwards. He seemed unstoppable. He was unstoppable. 

“Like a river flows surely to the sea,  
Darling so it goes somethings are meant to be”

He was now on the same level as her, still moving calmly towards her like he had all the time in the world. “Sam. Stop.”

“Take my hand,   
Take my whole life too”

“Sam. Please.” 

“For I can’t help falling in love with you”

He grabbed her by the chin and pulled her into am aggressive kiss, spilling something into her mouth at the same time. She pushed him off as she started to choke, trying to get whatever it was out of her system. 

It burned. Slowly destroying her. Yet when she tried to scream no nose was made, her vision was losing focus and she felt herself losing her grip on her body. Something new was inside her, trying to get rid of her but she tried to hold on. 

Try as she might she failed. Everything went black for her, caught in a strangers head now. She tried to scream again but nothing happened. 

She was gone.

**Author's Note:**

> Thx for reading and sorry for all of that


End file.
